Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Scientific Research II: The Magnificent Sequel

Sequels always make more money than their originals, so hopefully this one will too. 25% more would be good.

It's the same plot as the original, but with HILLER CHOCOLATES!

The same technique of heap-sorting and Homo Sapiens aggregators was employed. See the previous experimental report for details on this method. The sample size was halved to improve dramatic pace (because these chocolates come in a smaller box) and some had been rendered to flat files (some chocolates had been eaten but we counted the wrappers). A wider variance was discovered, leading to the obvious conclusions that infinite variation could be had from zero chocolates, but that all chocolates produced in the world were identical.

Further to the goal of improving dramatic pace, the scene in which critical (meaningless) numbers were calculated was cut, although the Director's Cut edition, to be released direct to DVD once the series needs to make more money, is hinted as possibly including this and other material.

Clearly (meaninglessly), this evidence is in support of the original theorem (which still hasn't been hinted at anywhere, wait for the third in the trilogy maybe), and the piece closes with a gratuitous chocolate-eating scene for people who like that sort of thing. And now, for people who don't like that sort of thing, the credits roll against a background of raw data.

* 2 Hazelnut Praline
* 3 Cherry Brandy
* 4 Raspberry Cream
* 4 Pineapple Cream
* 4 Devonshire Caramel
* 4 Peanut Brittle
* 4 Peppermint Cream
* 5 Orange Cream
* 2 Grand Marnier
* 4 Strawberry Cream
* 3 Vanilla Caramel
* 4 Turkish Delight

Total sample size: 43 items weighing 500g collectively, giving a statistically equivalent average weight.